Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Room

Tommy Wiseau. Read this name out loud. Exhale, take a deep breath, pop by the fridge for a Fresca and sit back down again. This name and the man who wears it deserves an insane amount of credit for providing a movie making lesson better than any other in history. An example of how to completely rape your eyes and ears, wasting 90 minutes of your life. "The Room" is his movie that has already earned solid cult status stateside - budgeted with 6 million dollars Wiseau set out to create his masterpiece that he now calls a black comedy despite the fact that 99% of all viewers would deem it unintentionally funny. It has reached such a status that it is now screened once a month in a theater on Sunset Blvd. in front of a brutally honest audience.

Meet Johnny.

Tommy portrays Johnny, a man loved by many, a hopeless romantic with a heart of gold and a body of titanium. His fiancee, a seductress with the sexual appetite of a death row rapist tells her mother that Tommy hit her... which is so not true. Consumed with despair Johnny heads to the roof, his favorite hangout to let off some steam and by chance meets Mark, his best friend and his girlfriends lover. Que scene!

Wiseau's portrayal of a man consumed by emotion is as realistic as the existence of Xenu. The poor guy. And like all good love stories, Shakespearian or not - The Room ends with a tragic climax. Sorry to give it away folks, but you're not going to see this movie for the riveting story elements. Johnny does what every man should when betrayed by a slutty lies-to-mommy-telling-no-good-daughter-of-a-breast-cancer-patient - he shoots himself through the head. And dies. !!! Eye wetting as this ending may be, we learn that he was indeed loved, as his sort of adopted son and everyone else in his posse mourns his passing loudly. Indeed, he died a martyr of passion.

PS. A side note on SPOONS.

There are framed pictures of spoons around Johnny's place. Such a thing ends up on the web and is a huge part of the celebration that takes place every month on Sunset. So should you ever stop by to marvel in this mutated piece of soft core brilliance, be sure to bring the proper plastic utensil. Let'em rain boys! LET'EM RAIN!

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